Even though I am quite elated at the moment,

I feel the need to point out how absolutely THOUGHTLESS and rude people can be. My iPod isn’t charged so I had to run without music this time and to no avail I see the ugly of the world the ONLY time I don’t have my music to drown it all out.

I run on the sidewalk on the far side of my neighborhood so I can avoid most traffic and looking eyes.

Yet today, when I am barely around the corner of my street, some fine bulbous multi-chinned man decides to scream out his car window “YOU’RE FAT QUIT TRYING!” at me then speeds off.

Do people not realize what they are doing?

How hurtful that can be to some people?

It shook me up pretty bad but I comforted myself in the fact he would not have even been able to fit his sausage hand into where my entire arm fits.

It aggravates me when people feel it necessary to degrade and talk down to people who are trying to take care of their body or someone is actually sick because of the things people say to them.

I suppose this is the end of my rant but don’t let ANYONE tell you that you are not beautiful, attractive, gorgeous, stunning (file in the other 293456349853 adjectives I don’t feel like typing).

They can’t stand the fact that you are what you are, BEAUTIFUL.

so. haters gon’ hate.

untitled entry

There are days that I spend endlessly wandering and dreaming of what I want my life to be like.  I want a place to call my own, in a place where the sun always kisses my skin.  A place where I can smell the beautiful mother ocean.  Such a sweet smell and gentle noise she makes, what I would do to take a drawing pad down into the coves and let her take me away.

I want to go the school of my choosing, where I can master and hone my imagination.  I want to reteach myself how to surf so I can spend my weekends on the beach.  So often to where my skin turns a golden brown color and my hair creates it’s own highlights.  There are so many streets and boulevards I wish to walk down, just to absorb my surroundings, admire the culture.  I want to go to the festivals, I want to eat lunch and drink tea at my favorite cafes.  

There is this place I dream of, this amazing place where I know isn’t perfect but it is close enough for me.  A place where it’s never too hot, never too cold, not a huge city or so small a town.  A community where everyone smiles at you as you walk by, a place where you can become friends with the barista who makes your tea everyday.  

This place, I dream of so often, where I have a quaint studio with room enough for me and my mate.  Maybe even a pup to join in.  Where I can decorate and design with the visions in my soul.  A living room where I can have a huge couch so all my friends can relax or you and I can melt into when we want to stay in.  Maybe even the cutest kitchen that I can bake my cupcakes and make my dinner creations.  I don’t care how big or small it may be, as long as it is mine that is all that matters.  

I dream of you often and one day I’ll escape to your sunny shores and will have you.  I will do anything and everything I have to so I can have my dream come true.


shadows creep gently carressing

your fading pulse

your reflection weeps solemnly

coaxing you to stop

"why are you crying my sweet angel?" she muses trying to soothe your sadness

all is silent

there is only you, her and the creatures that gingerly curls their soot covered fingers through your hair

they wrap themselves as bandages across torn parchment


trying to stop

trying to warm your feebly beating heart

holding tight

she wraps her slender scarred arms around you, whispering sweet nothings

sprites dry my eyes and smudge against fading cheeks

"you no longer need to cry, you were never alone, i have always been here my sanguine queen…."

orbs that used to captivate all those fatefully captured, now faded and dull..a smile that brightened even the darkest of places now fears to never to the sunrise

starved and maimed

skin so cold and frail

memory shattetered, only fragments

left to wonder

your voice is cracked


crumbling under tears

"no more tears princess, please, it tears us apart to see you so saddened…" your lips move to her words as she follows your bones

"do you know his heart breaks when he feels your soul weeping? all he wants is to make sure you’re happy little girl…he will never say it but i can hear his heart skip when he sees your smile.."

vision so blurry

breathe fading to a gentle breeze

hands clench your shoulders as you sink to the frozen marble floor

you can no longer see her

the shadows are crying

embracing you

her gentle breathe tickles your pallid skin

she whispers his name again and again

and you hear their gentle hum and tender warmth or their spirits clinging to your heart..

"you’re not alone, please don’t cry my beautiful doll, we’ll never leave you. no more tears..

nor more tears baby girl..

we love you..i love you